Learned late, but learned.
This is a post I might not normally make but after four days of not posting I thought I should let my readers know that I’m still kicking. Prepare yourself, today’s edition of Feathered Photography is long on text and short on photos and there’s nary a feather to be found.
Yesterday was the six year anniversary of my daughter Shannon’s accident. For reasons that remain unknown she fell in her kitchen and struck her head on the marble floor resulting in a traumatic brain injury (TBI) that very nearly killed her. After six years she’s nearly fully recovered. Miraculously her only remaining symptoms are some minor short term memory loss and a small change in personality. And Shannon would be the first to admit that the personality tweak wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
I think it’s fair to say that when these anniversaries come up the family looks at them as something to celebrate. We’re not celebrating her accident of course, but her recovery. When the ER doctors tell your husband and son that you have “zero chance of surviving the night” but you’re still around six years later – physically healthy, mentally alert and happy – it’s definitely something to celebrate.
Being Shannon’s father has been an adventure (understatement) and both of us have been learning from each other for decades. This last anniversary of a potentially deadly event has reminded me of a couple of life saving lessons that Shannon has taught me, directly and indirectly, over the years – one of them decades ago and the other one very recently. Telling those stories requires me to go into a little family history.
In 1989 when Shannon was 16 and had recently got her drivers license I absolutely insisted that she wear a seat belt but I repeatedly caught her not wearing it, even though she tried to be sneaky about it – as a high school teacher I was very good at spotting “sneaky”. At the time her mother and I were divorced so Shannon wasn’t living with me and my influence over her was limited at best. Parents out there can imagine the tension resulting from such a situation.
Finally, during one of those confrontations, Shannon said to me – “Dad, you don’t wear your seat belt so you’re a hypocrite for telling me I have to wear mine”. She was absolutely right. I hated wearing a seat belt so I’d never got into the habit (probably a leftover from my Montana farm days) but here I was telling her that she had to wear hers? So 16 year old Shannon and I made a deal – we promised each other to start wearing our seat belts, always. It didn’t take either one of us long to get into the habit and to this day we both feel almost naked without wearing our seat belt while driving. So we just don’t do it.
Another potentially life saving lesson from Shannon (at least indirectly) came only a few days ago when I hired a handyman named Robert to help me with some chores that I can no longer do because of my bad back. One of those chores was to install a new kitchen ceiling light and during the process Robert asked me to hold the fixture in place while he connected the wiring. Robert was standing on his own stool and asked me to get one of my own so I could reach high enough to hold the light close to the ceiling.
Robert was nothing short of aghast when I appeared with this old folding chair as my “stool”.
That chair has a lot of history. For most of her growing up years Shannon lived mostly with her mother but by the time she was a freshman in high school she’d become such a handful she came to live with me. I had a desk in Shannon’s room for her to study and do her homework on but I didn’t have a chair she liked so her mother donated this one (it was new at the time). For the past 30 years I’ve been using it as a stool to do chores like painting and changing ceiling light bulbs. I’ve spent countless hours standing on it, especially while painting.
When I started to get up on that chair, in exactly the same place it is in my kitchen in this photo, to help Robert hang the light his reaction was immediate and visceral. He said “Don’t stand on that chair, get a real stool.” And then he told me the story of his father-in-law who was standing on a folding chair just like this one when it folded and collapsed on him, resulting in a TBI that he’s never recovered from. His brain damage is significant and permanent.
So I retrieved a real step stool from the garage and proceeded to help Robert install the light. And I thought of Shannon’s devastating TBI and realized how stupid I’ve been for over 30 years to stand on a chair whose very design is to fold up when pressure is applied to just the right (wrong) place.
And yes, I’m currently shopping for a well designed, compact but safe step stool to keep and use in the house.
Thank you Shannon, for helping to teach your old Dad another new trick.
Ron
PS – My lens is still in the Canon shop so at this point I don’t know when I’ll get it back and begin posting regularly again.
Touching story, and some great teaching moments. Thanks!
I’m reading this late in the day (for me) and I just want to thank you for this very touching and edifying post! It made my evening.
Good to know, Joanne. Thank you.
Always love to be reminded about Shannon’s remarkable healing journey. She is a truly amazing woman.
We have a folding 3-step with both the step structure and a lever that lock the steps into place. Easy to store, easy to set up, not quite as easy to fold again (but that’s a small price to pay for step stability), and holds 300 pounds, so it’s very sturdy.
Glad you have a good handyman that has your back — literally!
Thanks, Marty. What you describe is pretty close to the new step stool I bought this morning.
Glad you made some changes. Falls occur even with the right equipment but less often! We have a great stool but I have put all my full weight on one side and tipped, but beats the time I fell through a folding chair, thought I would break a leg!
Need to make arrangements to send my camera in tomorrow. I am finally done with the results I am getting. I took photos today and had the 100-400 on auto most of the time to capture the fast action of bison bull fighting. Not much is sharp.
“Not much is sharp”
I get the pain of that, April. I really do.
I’m glad you’ve finally decided to send yours in. I hope it makes a big positive difference for you.
Bless you, all three of you, for lessons taught and lessons learned, and for the many lives lived better as a result. Thank you, Ron.
Thanks very much, Nina.
I love that we get to celebrate Shannon’s recovery with you each year—such a wonderful reminder to be grateful every day for the people in our lives. Your family’s experience is a stellar example of the power of persistence, courage and love.
Glad she’s also still keeping her ol’ dad in his seatbelt and (now, finally, with some reinforcement from Robert) off that dang chair!
Now, all I ask is that Canon get the job done for you so we can all get back to our daily dose of photography with feathers! 😉
Thanks very much, Chris. And I’m finally making some progress with Canon so maybe it won’t be that long until I get back to some semblance of normalcy.
You should frame that chair and hang it up somewhere and title it “One of Life’s Lessons No. 2”. People would then ask what No. 1 is, which is a story worth repeating. May even make non-seatbelters think twice.
Lyle, looking back I can’t believe I went so long without wearing seat belts. Thankfully I survived.
Learning is a most excellent thing. And learning without a potentially life changing (and NOT for the better) event is even better.
Huge thanks to Robert.
And a big and heartfelt hooray for an anniversary you didn’t think you would be able to celebrate.
EC, I’ll be seeing Robert again this evening. And yes, I’ll be thanking him.
I’m glad that Shannon has recovered so well. I bet she continues to get even better — over 10 years ago I had a nasty stroke that left me unable to even stand, let alone walk. Ten years on, people are suprised that I once had a stroke and I’m still noticing improvements in my balance, strength, and memory. Hope you get your camera back soon and I’m sure many of us will want to know what caused the softness — so we can blame it on that when we also don’t get tack-sharp photos 😉
Never too old to learn, never too old to build muscle!
That’s right, Sallie.
Great story Ron and some very important reminders like don’t demand that your children do what you yourself are guilty of. Like Forrest’s mother said, “Stupid is as stupid does.” And yes, the majority of us at one time or another have grabbed a chair like that to stand on and in some cases the results have probably been very serious. I too hated that getting used to the seat belt thing, but today at 83 it has been on auto pilot for a long time. First thing I do when I get into the car.
Welcome back, Everett. I sure hope you’re feeling better by now!
Morning Ron! Always feel blessed when you talk about Shannon and the miracle of her recovery. She is certainly an angel in your life. When I saw your picture of your chair you use(d!) as a stool all I could say is WTF!!! For a pretty smart guy that is not smart at all. Chalked that up to your farming days as well – use what you have.
Here’s the stool I own. Very compact so I keep it next to my washing machine. Easy to grab for any home fixit to dos.
K 🙂
https://www.homedepot.com/p/Gorilla-Ladders-Skinny-Mini-3-Step-Steel-Step-Stool-225-lbs-Load-Capacity-Type-II-Duty-Rating-GLS-3TSMC-COM/312621531?source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&&mtc=Shopping-B-F_D22-G-D22-022_008_LADDERS-NA-NA-Feed-SMART-NA-NA-New_Engen&cm_mmc=Shopping-B-F_D22-G-D22-022_008_LADDERS-NA-NA-Feed-SMART-NA-NA-New_Engen-71700000082416249-58700006970241171-92700062772249779&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlOmLBhCHARIsAGiJg7nI_Z3Ju4cQ_VJt1t-2LI3jRtEwnxRinAaF0HDrRBuM4MtGNuF16xcaAnqREALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
BTW- the new flooring looks fabulous!
Kathleen, I already have a pretty big step stool, similar to the one in your link (the one I eventually used to help hang the light). But it’s big, old and ugly so I wanted a smaller, better looking one to keep in the main part of the house. When I need the bigger one I’ll go down to the garage and get it.
Just goes to show you that us “OLD DOGS” can be taught new tricks !!!
Gary, the threat of serious injury, especially at my age, is pretty strong motivation to learn a new trick or two.
My heart dropped when I saw your “ step stool”. Thanks to Robert for scolding you. Falling as a kid and falling now is definitely not the same!
I’m glad to hear your daughter is doing well.
Diane, I just got home after buying a new step stool so you can pick up your heart again… 🙂
A friend was standing on a chair like yours and fell. It was only a compound fracture of the wrist. So happy for Shannon and all the family. Now get that lens back. Miss the pictures with my morning coffee.
“Only” a compound wrist fracture is something I don’t want!
And believe me, Jo – no one wants me to get my lens back more than I do.
Good morning Ron. Always happy to hear how your Shannon is doing. She definitely has your spunk! Please buy a proper step stool to stand on, not sure if that is what you mean but hopefully not just a stool as those are for butts not feet. Must run, work calls. Take care of yourself.
Not to worry, Shirley. I’ll be getting a proper step stool.
Two things:
MY daughter was the first one to teach me about love. True love.
Unconditional love. It was the gift of a lifetime.
As a contractor, I have spent years on ‘appliances’ to extend my reach. I own
20 ladders, all for specific purposes. I will not use a stool nor a wooden ladder nor a cheapo aluminum one. Buying a real step ladder is an investment in yourself and one for your family. I keep them within reach (a two step and a 4′ step ladder) and they are just as easy to grab as a chair, stool or upside down bucket. I have gotten older; I no longer ‘bounce’ like I used to. I suggest these things because I use my seatbelt always, have all of my vaccinations and live a good life. I’m card counting my life and a good ladder is a good bet. Just this once, put off the pedicure and buy a ladder. You can thank me later.
Andy, I’ve seen some of your ladders – when you reroofed the same house in Sugarhouse we were living in when Shannon was using this folding chair.
“I no longer bounce like I used to” – now that really sank in for me. My bouncing days are over!
And by the way, I got my Pfizer booster a few days ago. Believe it or not I’m not a complete idiot.
Smart guy and a pretty decent photographer.
I’m so glad to see “you” back, even if only temporarily ! That said, I gasped
“Oh no ! When I scrolled further and saw that folding chair– I thought,
“Ron– how could you– you are way too smart not to know how dangerous
that is !” Make your posse members a deal like yours and Shannon’s– we’ll mutually agree not ever to stand on a folding chair, and I recommend the
Cosco ( not Costco ) folding step stool– sturdy, and takes up no space at
all when folded……
That’s a great stool! Cosco, not Costco.
Don’t worry, Kris – I won’t be standing on that death trap again!
And yes, I knew it was potentially dangerous but I had a hard time breaking my foolish habits from when I was (much) younger.
Guilty tho it’s a kitchen chair! Called “whatever is handy” for this vertically challenged gal… 😉 However, we do have the attached (currently being used for “railing” for Joe to get up the step to the house) and a 3 stepper. They are great as top step is about a foot deep and upper handle gives one some stability for your legs if needed.
Joe was a challenge when it came to seat belts. We don’t have them in the 56 Ford we haul water in and I’m VERY uncomfortable without one these days.
Yes, Shannon got VERY lucky – wonderful you’ve been “teachers” for each other over the years…… 😉
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Cosco-Steel-2-Step-Folding-Step-Stool-Platinum-Black/537540306?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=2455&adid=22222222237537540306_117755028669_12420145346&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-293946777986&wl5=9058509&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=537540306&wl13=2455&veh=sem_LIA&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIis75rZft8wIVfG5vBB0gLQBPEAQYASABEgJ2RvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Judy, my favorite car (out of several) I had as a teenager and young adult was a 56 Ford Crown Victoria. It had after market (primitive) seat belts installed but only for the front seat. .
Thanks for the link. That looks pretty close to the type of stool I want.
Good story to share, worth reading while I have breakfast. Thank you.
Thanks, Elmer.
I’m glad that you can look over your history with Shannon while celebrating that she is still here. I remember the time of that accident all too well, and I was merely a distant bystander…
Alison, those terrifying memories are still as fresh in my mind as if they happened yesterday.
Good morning Ron. It’s great to read a post from you today and celebrate Shannon’s wonderful anniversary! Thank you for sharing. I hope you have good news about your lens soon.
Thank you, Mark. If I don’t hear more from Canon sometime today I’m going to go on a rampage…
I’m glad Robert spoke up!!! I’d be aghast too! You should know better Ron 🙁
I knew better, I just didn’t follow through. Now I will, always.
Thanks Ron and everyone for possibly saving my life or at least a nasty fall. Being lazy and not too bright I always take short cuts and stand on whatever – including styrofoam containers that often break. I will take everyone’s advice to heart
Good! Thanks, Frances.